Leading The Family Meetings Gracefully

Sharing current news, events and accomplishments, resolving family and personal conflicts and planning family activities and outings can be pleasant and can be accomplished in a graceful manner.

Sometimes parenting can seem as though we are under fire. Share some of the responsibility of decision making, conflict management and discipline. Once every one in the family is sharing with these important matters, no one person is under fire.

Construct uncomplicated rules that treat everyone with respect and individuality and do not allow any one person to control the entire meeting. Even parents/adults should not control the entire family meeting, although it may be necessary for parents/adults to re-direct and tame heated discussions.

Here are only a few examples of rules of respect for family meetings:

Turn off television, telephone, iPod, cell phones etc.

Treat everyone with respect and kindness during family meetings.

Everyone deserves a chance to talk and everyone will have a chance to talk.

Listen quietly and pay attention to everyone while they are talking.

Do not interrupt when someone else is talking.

Answer questions and respond to comments gently and politely.

These are only a few examples, so be creative when choosing family meeting rules of respect and remember to keep them simple.

Having an agenda or established routine and being consistent will keep balance during family meetings and allow them to run smoothly so that everyone will have their chance to speak and every issue can be handled constructively. It takes a while for everyone to get used to, but continue being positive and consistent. It is worth it. Not every issue, concern, conflict, or question will be resolved in one meeting and may take several meetings to accomplish a satisfactory agreement, a decision or a conclusion. Having an agenda and/or routine calls for some structure although try keeping the atmosphere light and friendly.

Within the first few family meetings there should be a maximum time limit on discussions allowing everyone their chance to be heard and no one will get bored.

An agenda can be organized on a printed form, in a notebook or simply on a piece of paper. List some appropriate topics and offer each family member a choice to talk about each topic.

Listed here are a few examples that can be used as topics:

Sharing Interesting News, Current Events And Accomplishments

Finding Constructive Solutions To Conflicts And Disagreements

Rotating Household Chores And Family Meeting Responsibilities

Planning Family Activities And Outings

Changes And Topics To Share Or Discuss

Making Agreements For Appropriate Consequences

Everyone participating in the family meeting needs to have an activity or responsibility within the meetings. Everyone should be included regardless to whether they seem too young or they feel too old for family meetings. One family member can be in charge of a light snack, another family member can supply paper and pencils, if used. Younger family members enjoy drawing colored lines through agenda topics as they are completed. Other family members may take notes, read topics of agenda to open discussions, keep time with a timer so they will not be too distracted, set up meeting area and any other appropriate responsibilities. Rotating responsibilities for each meeting allows everyone a chance to share in each responsibility, both children and adults.

Just as everyone shares in the responsibilities of the family meeting, so does everyone have the option to share in decision making, family planning, coordinating activities, conflict management and discipline as well as each and every topic discussed within the family meeting.

Family meetings are a time to spend learning as much as possible about each other, a time to be together and bond, a time to build individuality and be accepted, and especially a time to have fun and enjoy the company of family members.